Section Description

While "no man is an island", neither are individual humans part of a collective brain - like the Borg (of Star Trek). Though a human can live in full isolation, the successful acquisition of good health of body and brain and a good outlook will not be sufficient to optimally increase hir (his/her) lifetime happiness unless connections with other humans are pursued. Neither increasing your lifespan, except marginally through Calorie Restriction, nor preserving your life if you become terminal, nor even achieving optimal good health are possible without interactions with other humans. Because humans are neither identical entities, nor part of a collective consciousness with identical needs and values, they require special conditions and considerations with respect to their interrelationships to other individuals in order for the potential of each to be fully realized so that the Lifetime Happiness of each can be optimally increased.

In this section, we (Paul and Kitty Antonik Wakfer) had planned to present a complete philosophical basis of the methods needed for humans to best relate to each other. However, this has proved to be such an important and enormous task that a whole website The Self-Sovereign Individual Project has been devoted to founding and presenting the major part of the social philosophy. This section will now be dedicated only to the most intimate aspects of one-to-one personal relationships stressing practical methods to enhance understanding of one's emotional responses to others and communication with others.


A person who is happy with hir (him/her) self and the world is able to interact with others in a self-assured non-combative manner. Such a person may not have had the most ideal of upbringing - by parents who were optimally supportive physically, intellectually and emotionally - but s/he has learned to assess others based not simply on hir own experiences from childhood but on what s/he is seeing and hearing and in the context of other facts of reality. Additionally s/he has learned that hir own negative emotional state (mood) and distorted underlying beliefs about hirself can enormously alter hir manner and effectiveness in communicating with and being perceived by others (each of whose effectiveness will be in proportion to their own state of actual happiness). Therefore a happy person has (or is in the process of achieving) infrequent and limited duration distorted thinking and preferentially seeks to interact with others who are likewise happy or in the process of becoming so.

The concepts of the cognitive model of human thinking and behavior (described briefly in the Outlook section summary) can be used not only to improve a person's long-term satisfaction with hirself, but in the process significantly enhance hir interpersonal relationships of all types. A person who rarely uses distorted thinking, especially when interacting with others, will be more successful in achieving and maintaining relationships of depth which will be of value in continuing to develop and produce in the almost countless available areas of interest, whether mutual or not.

Interactions between people include, by the very nature of human beings, the environment and thoughts of each of those involved in each situation. Therefore it is of paramount importance in achieving optimal interactions with one's romantic partner(s), parent(s), child(ren), sibling(s), other friends and various associates that one first look at oneself for underlying thoughts that are distorted and therefore are an impediment in the achievement and/or maintenance of mutually beneficial relationships. Since communication is an essential part of human life, good (mutually beneficial) relationships can only occur when communications between the parties are equally good.

MoreLife is Always "Under Construction"

Page last updated 1/1/07
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