9/06/01
A few days away at the cottage can do wonders for my (our) sense of well being. The trip preparations for this last one had been going quite well, although 4 hours late - I'd remembered to use my developed checklist and only 1 item remained. Tom was working on the last Forum post so I didn't want to interrupt him to ask if the group of Science News weekly periodicals I'd located in one of the several piles on the side table were those still to be read.
When Tom completed the post several minutes later, we quickly packed the cold food - the last major item (but had to redo it partly when we realized the milk hadn't been included). It was on his last look around the dining room, wearing the back pack containing my reading and writing materials, that he asked about his Science News. I offered the ones I'd found but he verbally snapped in growing frustration that he'd managed to read those, that he was more than 6 months behind, that I "always" had something to read, that he couldn't read in snatches like I did, that he'd never get caught up with his Scientific American (3 years behind) and ought to cancel the subscription, sci.life-extension hadn't been "visited" in over 3 weeks, and his online Science Week was backing up in his Inbox. The half dozen Science News already read were tossed on the living room floor during this litany of complaints while I debated with myself the worth of reasoning with Tom or letting him continue "thinking out loud" uninterrupted. Picking up the issues, I suggested that we make this a reading sabbatical at the cottage, devoting the majority of the time to his pile of unread Science News. While he grumblingly gathered about 10 issues from January to March of this year, I quickly added my needlepoint to our tote bag of clothes, and then placed the magazines on top.
As I hand scribbled the first of this entry a day and one half later, Tom had completed 4 issues of Science News. We had not started a Scrabble game (a first for us) but we had "lost" about 4 hours to a hike - a whole 'nother story. Tom is not a skim reader but rather studies what he reads and consequently has a far better retention than most people. Unfortunately his favorite subjects - mathematics and physics - are ones in which he's least current and are least "important" to the present needs of extending his life and so must by necessity of time be skimmed rather than indulged. I could hear the painful resignation in his voice as he acknowledged this fact and the unspoken hope that enough time will be his in the future to indulge in his major intellectual love.
It was important enough for me to see Tom succeed at reading all the Science News copies that he'd brought - 9 issues - that I declined his suggestion on the 2nd day that we play a game of Scrabble. "Not until you've read every issue." I'd been enjoying my counted cross stitch (something I rarely take out of its plastic bag) and the periodic comments he'd make about an item he was reading. We'd discuss an article or a book review and the scene reminded me of ones I'd seen in period movies of the husband reading the newspaper to his wife who was doing needlework of some sort. It was always a cozy picture and there I was in it.
Time for physical activities at the cottage are a necessity both for accomplishing some specific tasks and also for the use of muscles that don't get a daily workout while we are in the city. (Walking and high energy dancing are not enough.) We "relaxed" with a canoe trip along the shoreline of part of the lake - against a fairly stiff breeze half of the time. That same evening we felled a dead tree on the property (having first carefully determined where to place the cut to ensure desired placement). The next (and last) morning Tom used the chain saw to cut up the tree, wishing mightily that he'd made use of it the previous evening instead of the hand saw and ax which taxed his shoulders and endurance. When we finished there were neat piles of logs, twigs, and kindling for efficient fire building and two very satisfied people.
Our satisfaction was complete for the 3 day stay because Tom had also finished all the Science News issues we'd brought with us - he was now read through March 17, 2001, just less than 6 months behind. He felt that he had gained a small victory against his "struggle" with time and challenged his muscles while not relegating me to the backburner. And me? I brought out my 15 year old yoga book and started back into the postures (re-introducing 4 each day after 6 years absence), enjoyed my relaxing needlework, and benefited intellectually, physically, and emotionally from the many activities Tom and I did together. And isn't that what renewing one's self is all about?
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