8/25/01
This past week I took on a role that was new for me, requiring knowledge that was among Tom's several areas of expertise, but not mine. I intently studied the subject matter for days while Tom feverishly coached me as he worked on a highly pertinent e-mail (and maintained The Forums). But I knew that I had to appear without him.
During the growing stress, I reminded myself of the challenging method I used in my 3rd year of high school to conquer the stuttering I had suffered since about age 7. I took the speech class, in which I was enrolled on recommendation of my speech therapist, to a "higher level". With the sound of my heart pounding in my ears, I auditioned for the role of Mrs. Gibbs in the perennial high school drama favorite, "Our Town". If I stuttered in the try outs, it didn't keep me from getting the role, but I know that the occasional stammering during the 3 performances was thought by many to be affected purposely for the character.
The major lesson I learned from that experience, and which I carried forward into many other speaking and dance performances, is that I can survive and even perform extraordinarily well despite extreme nervousness, if I am well prepared.
Significant stress can result in numerous different "maladaptations" depending on the person. While I have had no appreciable difficulty with stammering since my teen years, during this past week irritable intestines were an almost constant companion until 3 days after the "performance". An inability to sleep well for 2 nights preceding and the one following raised temporary apprehension for me that I might be moving towards a manic episode, despite the increase in Lithium I'd made several days before in anticipation of the high stress.
Tom's frequent long distance praise and comfort bolstered my own reminders that this "performance" was only 1 day. I knew that my overactive intestines and mind would quiet down within a day or two afterwards. I just had to make it through those few days. When the business of "performance" day concluded, I was actually a bit shaky with relief and fatigue as I bid goodbye to 2 women who were on the periphery of the chief business conducted, but significant to many of the emotional aspects. I had done it! And better in some ways than I (or Tom) had expected.
Challenges are part of our lives and with the successful meeting of earlier ones comes the experience beneficial to meeting those that follow. If we shrink from challenges - always seeking the easier or more comfortable route rather than the one most just - we lose our opportunities to significantly grow. Growth is a vital aspect of life; and personal growth - intellectual, philosophical, psychological, emotional - is vital to the life of one's mind, no matter its chronological age.
 |
 |
This website is not copyright because its creators do not agree with government copyright laws. Readers are welcome to copy and distribute any text within the site as long as they do not modify the text and they provide a link to this website as its clear source.